well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
