i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
