we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
