Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
