When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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