so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
