how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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