let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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