My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
