I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
