she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
