it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize