I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize