She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
my poor anus
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
