I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
