I want to make a zoo with you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
