I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
