addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
