I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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