at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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