She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
