he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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