OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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