If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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