In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
