Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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(+44): View more from England

I just gift wrapped bread.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

(703): View more from Virginia

mine is 'the'.

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(205): View more from Alabama

we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

you don't.

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(913): View more from Kansas

i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell

(816): View more from Missouri

please tell me you are kidding me

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.

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(516): View more from New York

When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?

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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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