just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
