I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
