i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
birth control should be required to get into college
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
