Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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