yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
