I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
