Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize