but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
