Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so let's talk penis.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
