don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
