the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
