He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
