Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
