Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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