I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize