You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
