Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Your penis caused this!
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