It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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