what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
