You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my poor anus
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
