I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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