i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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