new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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