I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
