Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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