I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was like eating out sand paper
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
