hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
