Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My life is pants optional.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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