I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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