ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
