sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
