Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
