I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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