so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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