Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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