Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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